Help

I give up writing poetry. How can Osprey be perceived as better than Heavy-Legged Soldiers? In what ways does the images become better, the syntax better, more challenging? The second example, in every sense, seems a better read to me: rhythm-wise, syntax-wise, in thoughts of wordings. Even the story, although perhaps a bit muddied, is better.

Can someone help a helpless, stranded poet?

Here are the links to each poem:

(Osprey)
http://www.alsopreview.com/gazebo/messages/4/13379.html?1181691628

(Heavy-Legged Soldiers)
http://www.alsopreview.com/gazebo/messages/4/13325.html?1181418488